Do you want your teen to grow into a smart, confident adult who knows how to realise their full potential?
Listen to today’s episode or read the post below to learn the key things you need to know about the teenage brain. Also receive 7 tips for your teen’s healthy mental development.
I sometimes think that when we became parents, we automatically signed up to be doctors, dietitians, psychologists … Maybe we don’t have to study any of these, but I feel that if we really want to uplevel as parents, then there are some key things we need to know about child and teen development, just for the sake of our kids.
Today, We’re focusing on mental development.
Now, it’s no wonder that the teen years are known as the great initiation – the rite of passage. This is because there are so many changes happening.
Starting with puberty and then all throughout the teen years between 14 and 21, this is a period of sexual maturity. Hormones are fluctuating. The physical body is undergoing a lot of changes.
The teen years are also the period of intellectual development. This is the time of growth for our kids’ brain, their mind, their way of thinking.
There are three keys things we need to know about mental development during the teen years:
Key 1
The teenage brain is still growing. Let’s please remove high expectations around intellectual maturity or sane rational decision making.
Our teens are still learning. Their brain is still growing. It’s still forming neural pathways.
The beauty of it is that it’s so open and so quick for learning new skills and concepts. Let’s remember that the teen brain is so creative, it’s not bogged down by strict dogmatic beliefs, so it’s really the space where the infinite possibilities can occur. Let’s give it the nurturing space and patience that it needs to grow into its full genius.
Key 2
The imprinting that happens on our mind during the teen years sets the tone for our entire life.
Let me say that again. The imprinting that happens on our mind during the teen years sets the tone for our entire life. The mental patterns and the beliefs that we form as teens become what’s called our ideology – the way we think about life. And they stick with us into adulthood.
Imagine if we develop unhealthy patterns and limiting beliefs during our teen years? These will haunt us as adults. What’s so common is that it takes a midlife crisis for some people to realise that they’re still stuck in the limiting patterns of their teen years.
Key 3
What impacts the teen mind the most is RELATIONSHIPS during that time.
Relationships include those with parents, family, friends, teachers, peers, environment, society, and so on.
Family is right there at the top. The home environment remains the most important thing.
Our kids still need us during their teen years. There are many things out of our control as parents, but the home environment and our relationship with our teens remain our responsibility.
So, we agree that there’s a lot going on for our teens.
Add in top of that all the changes that they’re going through: their sexuality, their self-image, not to mention the external pressures of high school, exams, choosing a career …
We get to be mindful of this state of change that they’re going through. Our teens are on shaky ground.
And that puts them on the defensive.
Being in that state is very uncomfortable. What often happens these days, in this digital age, is that our teens tend to escape this feeling, this discomfort, by distractions, on their phone, gaming, socials … And unfortunately distractions can turn addictive and ugly. Also know that stress and over studying are also kind of addictions.
We as parents need to understand all this.
And when we’re looking at increasing connection with our teens, we need to understand and accept that they might be on the defensive sometimes. And that’s OK.
Here are 7 tips for your teen’s healthy mental development:
1) Be patient and gentle in your parenting approach, and hold space for your teens when they act out.
2) Show them love, let them know they belong, that you’re always able to give them a safe space in which they can learn to deal with their big emotions.
3) Choose your words and behaviours wisely, no shaming, no blaming.
4) Don’t project your own beliefs on your teens. Practice self awareness and do the inner work.
5) Teach them the important things about navigating life. Educate them. Don’t leave everything to the school. Get more involved.
6) Provide your teen with enriching experiences that grow their talents and expose them to different perspectives.
7) Take care of your teen’s holistic wellbeing. This includes physical and emotional wellbeing. Remember balance is key. A healthy mind in a healthy body, there’s no getting around this one.
These were my 7 tips for your teen’s healthy mental development. Which one will you choose today and implement?