Welcome to this 5-part series where I’ll be introducing the Gene Keys and explaining how the Gene Keys can help you specifically if you’re a parent or a caregiver.
The Gene Keys are for you if you’re a parent who knows there’s more to life than the frustrating daily hustle, but you keep getting stuck on the same hamster wheel.
You simply feel unfulfilled. Even though you might have already tried lots of things, you still have this yearning inside you for a bigger purpose for your life.
You know that something in your life needs to urgently change, but you have no idea where to start.
And especially now that your kids are growing up fast, you desire to be a better role model for them. You want to show them, not just tell them, how they can end up living a fulfilling life. You want to walk your talk.
Well, you will find the answers to your problems on the Gene Keys Golden Path journey.
To introduce the Gene Keys, I always start with the topic of fulfilment.
The whole purpose of going on the Gene Keys journey is ultimately to reach fulfilment and inner freedom.
I’d like to share with you my personal story around fulfilment:
When I was younger, I wasn’t really clear on my viewpoint around fulfilment. I became a parent in my early twenties, I was a young mom, and at the start, I lacked a lot of mature self-awareness, which put me in a lot of anxiety and unnecessary pain.
I’m originally from the mountains of Lebanon in the Middle East. I grew up in a village town where old traditions were and still are quite strong. There’s the typical Middle-Eastern culture around the role of the mother in the family, where being a mom is all about sacrifice, that moms have to tone down their dreams and ambitions for the sake of family obligations, that moms have to put their career or higher education aside to be there for their kids.
My own mom tried her best not to let me buy into these constructs. My parents invested in my education and sent me to engineering college, which I’m really thankful for. But I was still surrounded by that culture.
I also had a personal event that impacted me in particular. I got married early and had my first born when I was almost 22 years old. When my son was a month old, he almost died.
He got the rotavirus, which caused vomiting and diarrhoea and severe dehydration, so he ended up being hospitalised. Having this experience of my baby almost dying in my arms was intense. I’m grateful that there was divine interference and things turned out fine at the end. But what happened back then, right after that incident, is that I experienced a lot of self-blame, and shame, and fear of it happening again.
I found myself choosing the role of the martyr mom and taking on this value that the kids always go first, that I must sacrifice everything to make sure my kids are ok.
I took this way to the extreme, even after I started work and then travelled. It was to the point that I was living in a constant state of being alert, in constant survival mode, scrambling for my kids’ needs.
And I chose to sacrifice anything that is not directly related to their needs. Things that didn’t bring income, for example, like spending my time on my hobbies, my art, my writing, my creative practice. I was also young at the time, and I took my health for granted, so I didn’t invest in any fitness activity just for myself.
This continued even after I immigrated to New Zealand and settled down. Both myself and my husband have been working as expats in countries far from home, with no relatives, with no family to fall back on. We had to make ends meet by ourselves. We thought we had to constantly sacrifice things for the sake of our kids.
Also my community was mostly made up of other women who were immigrants like me, and I was shown that moms have to work long hours or stick with a dull job they don’t like just to keep the income coming, that moms have to put aside their creative hobbies and passions for the sake of family priorities. And if they choose to hustle, they have to swallow their pains.
Playing the role of the martyr mom made me really suffer.
Apart from enjoying my motherhood and my kids, and just focusing on my engineering career, I wasn’t giving myself full permission to do anything else, to do the other things that fulfil me.
Things like my creativity, writing poetry and stories.
Or daydreaming, just sitting there, watching the sunset and the clouds.
I’m a curious and multi-passionate person by nature. I like researching new things, learning about new cultures, mythologies, etc …
Back then, I was sacrificing these things, because I considered them totally unproductive.
I thought they were not important to my family, that they were a waste of my time and my attention. And shame on me that I’d want to waste my time and attention on something not beneficial to my kids.
If you’re relating to this, maybe you have your own secret hobby or interest. Maybe you think that this interest is totally unproductive, you always put it on the back burner, but it is something you really love to do, or you wish you can do more of.
If you’re thinking that you have to wait until your kids grow up for you to do it, I really want you to hear me and my story of how I kept putting my fulfilment on the back burner.
In the end, I couldn’t keep oppressing myself. I couldn’t keep oppressing the truth of who I wanted to be. I just couldn’t be happy.
I found myself stuck on the miserable hamster wheel, until finally I experienced burn-out, on both physical and emotional levels.
I collapsed in back pain. My physical body just said stop.
And I was also having dramatic fights with my husband, which were not serving my kids.
These were the tipping points. I realised I needed to change the way I live.
I had started with good intentions, thinking that I must be the martyr mom for my kids, but it was now backfiring. Putting my fulfilment on the back burner backfired on my intention of being the best mom for my kids.
I decided I needed to change for real. I had to find another way.
And so, I set out on a quest after fulfilment.
Years later, after a lot of seeking and trying different modalities, after a lot of inner work, I’ve truly become a very different person.
You know, things get surprisingly better once you decide you will go after what you want.
Once you take the reins into your own hands, and stop waiting for life to get better by itself.
Once you become accountable for your own vision for life, and you stop making excuses and blaming others for limiting you.
And sometimes you need a structure to hold you as you go through your personal up-leveling. Following a structure or a modality makes it easier for you to take it step by step, and to stay accountable.
What I want everybody to know is this:
The best modality I’ve come across as a whole system, is the Gene Keys.
The Gene Keys journey is an excellent roadmap to fulfilment.
Here’s why:
Fulfilment happens when you’re living in alignment with your values and your vision, when you know that every single thing you do, including your work, your relationships, your lifestyle, the way you show up inside and outside your home, everything in your life is serving the best vision you have for yourself.
Now, in order to live in alignment with your vision, you need two things:
First, you need to get very clear on what your vision is.
You need to know and be honest about what you really want, instead of just living someone else’s dream or what society has defined as a fulfilling life.
The Gene Keys journey helps you get clarity on your vision, on your life’s purpose, if you don’t know it or you’re not completely sure.
And second, you need the capacity to turn your vision into your reality.
See, once you have that vision and you start going after it, you will find yourself in a constant challenge of overcoming the hurdles that life throws at you. These hurdles might be challenging relationships, health issues, economic situations, maybe your own fears, your own unhealthy patterns. The list is endless. These hurdles are meant to stretch you, to help you grow, so that you can handle your vision.
You need to develop a big capacity to be able to navigate these hurdles and enjoy life at the same time, to not only survive but also thrive with life’s constant challenges. What I mean by capacity, it’s energetic capacity, meaning it’s energy at all levels: physical, mental and emotional.
You need to build that energy, I call it the inner flame, the fuel, which keeps you going, which lights you up from the inside, so that no matter what’s happening on the outside, no matter what life throws at you, you have the resourcefulness, the resilience, the excitement, to keep going.
The Gene Keys are the perfect tool to help you find your inner flame, and to grow it, to expand your capacity.
I’ve been on the Gene Keys path for a few years now. I not only got clarity on my vision, but also clarity on my blind spots and my triggers — things I didn’t know that I didn’t know.
I also got clarity on my gifts, my innate strengths that are meant to help me overcome life’s hurdles — my superpowers which I was already born with, but were too close to my nose so I couldn’t see them for what they were.
And all this has helped me show up as a more mindful person, a better parent.
Fully embracing the Gene Keys journey helps you increase your awareness, your understanding of yourself, which all steer you towards your fulfilment.
I invite you to imagine yourself living a fulfilling life, with your beautiful inner flame shining bright and strong, radiating warmth and love and vitality to the people around you, your family, your kids.
Imagine yourself living that way. It’s worth it!
The Gene Keys can help you get there.
What exactly are the Gene Keys?